This is Jedi Master Zemalia Xyana... for many years I have dedicated my life to the Republic and to the Jedi order, but most of all I have dedicated my life to the force.
I have walked in both the nourishment of the light and the empowerment of the dark side in my own quest for balance.
To many I am... impure... a heretic... a traitor... a deceiver ... a sith.
The path I have walked throughout my life has left me with many questions despite looking into the heart of the force itself.
Although I do not see myself a traitor for aspiring for greater knowledge, I have in my time under estimated the power of the dark side...
I walked into the very heart of darkness on the planet of Korriban... undercover there for the loyal crew of the vigilance Beacon I uncovered knowledge that must never been known by anyone.
In my youth I was a different woman. The Mirilian in me that sort to embody the light was driven away by the truth of the galaxy.
The light side, the dark side... the force itself exists in an eternal conflict. So long as the wars and those only seeking to understand one side exist, true peace can never be.
We all have light and dark inside of us. And I have come to understand that it is not our powers and desires that decide who we truly are... It is our choices.
We are living creatures and the force is part of all life. Perhaps truly there is no light or dark, there is only the force. Though I highly doubt the Jedi will ever embrace my teachings and the Sith are so lost in their desire for power they likely will not care. The extremes from both sides will drive the galaxy into ruin unless one can learn to tolerate the other.
My greatest and most successful padawan has fallen into a larger destiny it seems.
I always felt something in her from the very first day I discovered her on Alderaan, a slight sense of irony perhaps that we are heading there now.
Back to where it all began so many years ago... So much time passed yet so much unresolved.
When darkness took control of me I attacked her... for that I may never truly forgive myself. Those I should of stood aside through great conflict and strife betrayed due to my own lack of foresight. Never again.
It was in fact due to Lin'dralas' own padawan and student Barracudas that I failed in causing any serious damage.
This young twi'lek padawan I once viewed so harshly in my arrogance was the one who saved us all and I hope for the sake of the galaxy she will succeed again.
With her assistance I was finally able to drive my own darkness away perhaps forever.
She has been like a daughter to me and I shall stand by her.
Though I cannot lie, I have sensed much through the force... this disturbance that will not fully reveal anything to me, it is like a wall... a fortress with its gates closed.
Alderaan is again shrouded in blood and conflict but something greater is at work here.
I cannot help but feel that whatever we are walking into this time will be like nothing we have ever faced... The legacy of the Nightingales will be decided here for that I am certain, but perhaps something more.
Lin'drala left the crew behind without a word and I am certain it is her way of protecting them.
If the force is truly responsible for bringing Lin'drala and Mileetra together again then it can only mean one thing... A reckoning.
I know many of the Vigilance Beacon crew will do anything to ensure their former captains safe return but perhaps this may prove to be something greater than we can handle...
I am thankful Master Satele herself has agreed to join us but perhaps this may gave the enemy a true chance to strike... If we were to lose the Grand master, along with the Nightingale Jedi master as well I fear it would not be long until the Empires resolve is strengthened enough to crush us all.
Barracudas is determined to save her master from whatever fate awaits her. I will stand by her side, this time the crew will have my assistance while I at least still draw breath.
Though I cannot help but feel it inside myself that this may yet be a mission we will not all so easily return from... May the force be with us all.
Mon 5 Jan - 17:53